| Tatyana Olegovna Reus E-mail address:treous@mailru.com Location: St. Petersburg and other cities Russia Agency:Elegy.com I had relations with Tatiana Olegovna Reus (???? ??????? ????????, 09 ???? 1978) from St. Petersburg , who I had met in July 2000, for one year, until August 2001. In that time, we spent about three months together, and I called her each night. I went some 5-6 times to her home in St. Petersburg , she to mine in Moscow more times than that. We went abroad twice to Europe , the last time being the whole month of July 2001, in Portugal . She told me that she loved me. I fell very deeply in love with the girl. As time went on, we planned marriage, children, a real family. Or at least – I did. Tatiana told me that she was studying Public Relations at St. Petersburg Cultural University . She was in her final year. I never saw this University. She told me that she studied from late morning or midday to late at night, so my calls were always late at night, at 2230 or 2300 when she came home. Whether she really was studying at this University at all; or until such a late time; or was involved in other activities, I do not know. In view of what happened later, it is difficult for me to believe anything at all that she ever told me. After a few weeks’ relations, she said something that worried me, to the effect that her parents were hoping that she could settle down with me – that they were placing a lot of faith and hope in me. I got the distinct impression that for them I represented some kind of “last chance”. Tatiana told me that her previous boyfriend was a boxer. I know that she only finished relations with him some weeks after she had started relations with me. I was of course not at all pleased by this news, but decided not to make an issue of it. So I am not the first she has treated in this way. Before that, she had apparently left home at age 17 to live with a young man who she loved very much, but who killed himself with a heroin overdose. After that, she said that there had been two or three other men, including an Armenian “biznezmen” who I got the impression was mafia, and who had, it appeared, spoiled her badly. But she told me that she wanted serious relations and I believed her. She said that she was born in Vinnitsa in the Ukraine, and that she had never been married. One day I saw her passport, which gave her status as “razvidenaya” ("divorced"), and Place of Birth Saratov, not Vinnitsa. It all went completely over my head. Tatiana has continued to say by email that she was never married, but I am certain that I read this and remember it correctly. There were, throughout this period, other danger signals, which made me increasingly worried. The main one was that Tatiana was continually interested in money. This started in fact on our very first day together, when, after having been in my apartment for the first time for about ten minutes, she asked, with her eyes running everywhere as the Russian saying goes, for $400 to fix a broken tooth (the famous “broken tooth scenario”). I asked her if this was a test to see whether I would or could give her the money and she sheepishly replied "yes". Having established that fact (warning!!!!), like a lunatic I gave her the money. Nobody can blame me more than myself, but I was genuinely captivated by her. I felt like a human being again, a man. There were to be many more such demands, which grew in intensity - but I was able to control most of them, although this became more difficult as time went on. From around New Year 2000, these demands were often made with open aggression, screaming and a horrible nervousness on Tatiana’s part. At about that time, after several months’ relations, she asked for a regular monthly allowance, in order to buy the things she needed – clothes, Beauty Salon, make-up and so on. I thought this was not a bad idea, and I suggested $500, which was agreed. I am sure that she was expecting less. I also said that when she had finished her diploma, and we were living together in Moscow , she should find a job and pay for her things with that – I would pay for everything else. She agreed, but without any enthusiasm. I noted this, but thought that all would be alright once we had started our life properly together.I never met any of Tatiana’s friends, or her sister, despite my best attempts to do so – Tatiana always created a reason why I could not see them. She always had an excuse if I suggested calling a couple of her girlfriends and going out as a group one evening, whilst she herself made no effort at all at any time to encourage a meeting. She was particularly careful that I never met her sister. I do not know why. During my weekends in St. Petersburg, Tatiana’s father, apparently a Colonel (doctor) in the Army, only sometimes showed me any friendship and I felt a little uncomfortable when I was there. We usually stayed in their apartment and rarely went into the town, again, despite my best efforts. When we did go into the centre of the city, Tatiana was often quiet and rather nervous. In all my weekends in St. Petersburg , we never saw the Hermitage Museum and only once went to the theatre – this in spite of Tatiana’s supposed love of art. So things went on. As I have said, towards the end of 2000, after about 5 months’ relations, Tatiana became a different person: money demands were made in an openly aggressive manner, almost with desperation, and in fact I became quite frightened of her. Her aggression was shocking. There was also a slyness and a secretiveness about her that made me nervous. My gentleness, attentions and good heart seemed to make no impression on her at all. In January 2001 she came to Moscow for a few days before going on the train to Vinnitsa in the Ukraine , where she said she would be looking after her ill grandfather for about 10 days. Out of curiosity, I asked to see the ticket – she refused. She demanded $700 as “insurance” for this trip. I said that I had already given her money, she had told me that her father had bought the tickets, and that she would be staying in her grandfather’s house – so what did she need “insurance” for? She became extremely excited, and this led to me giving her the money. However, I was furious, and a serious argument started on the street whilst I was finding a taxi to take us to the train station – in the end I stormed off and she disappeared. Our relations had finished. Two weeks later, with Tatiana back in St. Petersburg , I travelled there, stayed in a hotel for a couple of days, met her and we decided to resume our relationship. I had spoken to her mother before this meeting, and told her that I was extremely worried about Tatiana’s motivation, but I loved her and I wanted things to go well. She promised to speak to her. She knew, as Tatiana did, that I loved her very much. But I was trying to rebuild my life after some difficult years, and wanted Tatiana’s understanding and support. I wanted to see the actuality of her love. I wanted to see some affection, not simply a continual silent – but by now not-so-silent – pressure. Her mother did talk to Tatiana, and as a result she became less demanding – for about three weeks. Then it all started again, and even worse than before. Was she in the Ukraine for those 10 days? Or elsewhere? She only sent me one email during those ten days (“I love you” was all she wrote, no news about her grandfather or about anything else), and I thought at the time that she might have gone somewhere else, not to the Ukraine . Also around this time, she told me that she was still receiving letters from foreign men. I asked her to get herself removed from the Italian site where she had an internet listing, and from where I had bought her address. I had placed my profile on various sites but I had deleted all of them a long time before. Unfortunately, I could not remember either the name or the URL of this site any longer. She refused point-blank to give me the URL, and said that she did not want to remove her profile as the letters were interesting. This led to a serious argument. Her attitude showed no sign of understanding of the worries of the man she said she loved. In the end, I think about March 2001, she told me that she had written to them asking that her profile be removed. On one weekend visit to St. Petersburg in early Summer 2001, Tatiana met me at Pulkovo Airport in her father’s car. The journey back to her home on Ribatskiy Prospect took about 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes she received 3 calls on her mobile telephone, all of which made her embarrassed and nervous. “Call later, I cannot talk now” was her usual reply to the callers. It was obvious that the calls were from men. I asked her who had called her and if I should simply return to the airport and fly back to Moscow . She gave the excuse that the calls were from a manager of a local nightclub offering her free tickets, but it was obvious that she was lying. So blind and trusting was I, that even though I did not believe it, I stayed silent and we continued the journey to her home. But inside my heart I was already dying. As a result of this, I spoke to some friends, and was put in touch with some people in St. Petersburg who offered to investigate Tatiana to find out if she was seeing other men. I thought about this very carefully, but decided against it: I decided that I had to trust and believe her, otherwise my love meant nothing. I am sure that if I had done this, I would have been saved a very large amount of worry and the devastation that she was soon to cause me emotionally, physically and financially. I have to say here that being blinded by love, and by a natural trust, especially in women, I had already ignored the warnings of three people who had met Tatiana. One, a Russian woman who owns a beauty salon where I had taken Tatiana one day, met Tatiana for the first time and then simply whispered to me as we left the salon “Be careful!” The second was my home worker, Margarita, who had warned me about Tatiana in rather less quiet tones, saying that she was a shark and a bitch. In fact, Tatiana hated her and had already asked me to sack her, which I refused to do. The third was an English work colleague who had simply said to me that he hoped I would not fall in love with her. But – I already had. A word about domestic chores. Tatiana told me that she would never do such work. I said that she did not need to do so – we had a home worker to help with this. But Tatiana also wanted to feel in charge of the home and therefore did not want Margarita there. At least, that was the reason she gave me. Perhaps the real reason was that Margarita, a 60-year old woman with experience of life, saw Tatiana for what she was and therefore represented a threat to Tatiana’s plans. At about the same time, in the Spring of 2001, Tatiana telephoned to me in tears, saying that she had been driving her father’s car and had had an accident. The other driver was a lawyer, and was threatening Tatiana with the court if Tatiana did not immediately pay for the repair. I sent her $800 overnight and she took this money from the bank the next day. When I next travelled to SPB, two weeks later, I asked Tatiana where was her father’s car. She became very embarrassed and said that he had sold it. I suggested that I had simply paid for the repair so that he could sell it, and that there had been no accident. She became furious. I have no idea of the truth about this incident. On the later visits to the family home, Tatiana’s father became ever more distant and surprised me by continually asking me to speak to Tatiana in English. It may have meant nothing, but by the later stages of my relationship with Tatiana, I was suspicious of almost every word and gesture. Once, all three of us drove out of St. Petersburg to a dacha area, where Tatiana’s father met a friend, hoping to sell a small plot of land to him. I was introduced to this person in a dismissive tone as Tatiana’s “znakomi” – just an acquaintance - not even as her boyfriend (“druk”), and certainly not as her future husband. I asked Tatiana about this, and she was upset that I had read something suspicious in it. However, Russian friends say that I was right to notice the use of this word rather than another. After one year of waiting for Tatiana to finish her diploma (which she paid someone to write for her, a common practice now in Russia, but which made me think much less of her), and after a month in Portugal, we finally started to live together in August 2001. It lasted one week, before Tatiana disappeared. I have not seen her since. The week was a true nightmare, which got worse every day. It started in St. Petersburg , where I went to bring Tatiana back to Moscow . In St. Petersburg , she demanded $2,000 for her sister Anzhela, who Tatiana said had left her husband and needed to start a new life. She said that the money was for the sister to buy baby clothes in Finland , to be sold at a profit in SPB, and Tatiana told me that I would be repaid after 6 months. I had never met this sister and I refused, at which Tatiana became almost mad with aggression, even saying that if I would not give her the money, she would not come with me to Moscow . Extremely worried, I gave in to her demand. There were also whispered conversations between Tatiana and her father, and both of them were in tears when we left for the airport, but the reason was not a usual one of a parting – something was going on that I strongly felt but did not understand,. Tatiana also refused to bring to Moscow a computer I had bought, which we had agreed would be our home computer here, saying “Let’s take it back darling the next time we come up to St. Petersburg”. On the first night back in Moscow , she said that she would be doing no cooking at all – we both had to lose weight. I was in fair shape, but Tatiana’s own weight had ballooned in the three weeks since she had returned to St. Petersburg from our month in Portugal . Why, I do not know: nervousness, perhaps, at what she knew she was about to do; the possible use of drugs has also been suggested to me by one doctor. I agreed but wondered what on earth was going on. As for Tatiana, she was at home each evening when I came home, smoking, drinking a lot of wine (this was new), and was cold to the point of outright rejection. She clearly was doing nothing to find a job or a course of further education, and did not once visit Gala, the Russian wife of one of my English colleagues who Tatiana knew. Gala was seven months’ pregnant at the time and lived in the same building as myself. Tatiana was very uncommunicative about what she was doing each day. I felt as if I was inside a horrible dream. She demanded material things and money virtually every day, being aggressive with each request. I bought her a $500 dress for our forthcoming trip to America – I had won a prize in my work (a free holiday for two people in Las Vegas , at the best hotel there, worth $6,000). The very next day, she asked me to cancel the trip, saying that she was too tired to travel anymore. Then, the day after that, she asked me to buy her a ticket to Germany , so she could visit her mother (who works/worked near Dusseldorf ) saying that she would be back in one week! She also asked me to get her a visa for England . I said that it was not necessary to do it, we did not need it for several months, but she said “it will be one job we do not have to do later”, so I arranged this within a couple of days. We parted at the airport on August 21st 2001 . My head was spinning. I thought that she would be back in one week. I saw that an African statue I had bought for our joint home had gone missing. All photographs and negatives of our year together had also disappeared. In fact, the only things that she had left me was all her underwear… The mobile phone she had taken with her for the trip was then switched off and I could not contact her. I learned afterwards that she did fly to Germany (but perhaps not on the day when I took her to the airport), and then she went to London for four days. I learned this from the list given to me by MTS of calls made by her on my mobile phone, before MTS itself blocked the line after Tatiana had spent $738 on calls. She had called from to Ireland – I had no idea that she knew people there – and various other numbers, most of them in Russia. She was obviously there with another man, or, perhaps (there is some evidence of this), to have an abortion of my child. I of course did not know, and do not know for sure now, that she might have been pregnant. I had bought Tatiana International Medical Insurance, and the insurance company has confirmed that she did have treatment, which was covered by the policy, but what was the nature of the treatment I do not know. She had certainly told me nothing about it. All of this was of course planned well in advance. She has confirmed this. And Tatiana had the nerve to carry it all through according to her plan. She attempted more. Two examples: she demanded that I buy her a Beauty Salon (!), and she became almost crazy with anger when I said that I would be the owner of the business if we did make this investment, which she knew very well I could not afford anyway. She also became extremely agitated in our discussions about what car to buy. In the end, she demanded that I buy two cars, one for me and a car for her, and she said that it would be better if they were registered in her name in St. Petersburg . Luckily for me I had already started to fight back – simple self-protection against her constant attacks - and she achieved neither of these things. We spoke once whilst she was in Germany/England/???, when she called me, told me that she loved me very much, and could I put some more money on a debit card of mine that she had with her (she knew the PIN code). With a sinking heart I put another $500 on the card. She also asked if she could have my permission to go to Spain for four days with her mother. I was not happy with this, and she became very cold and angry. In the end, as always, I agreed. It was these four days exactly that were spent not in Spain but in England. As for the money, it was then withdrawn – in roubles. I could track this on the internet. Which meant of course that she was no longer in Germany nor England, but had already returned to Russia. I had already called her father several times in a panic, asking him where Tatiana was, and he had said in a very cold and unfriendly manner “in Spain of course”, or, “I don’t know” – but obviously she was already back in St. Petersburg or Moscow. He clearly knew everything. I telephoned my bank to block the card and within a couple of days, with me already half-mad with worry, on September 10th she called me. It was a very short call, from the street (she refused to say which city she was in). She warned me several times, in an aggressive voice, not to try to find her or I would have problems with my health. After that, there was no contact from her until late February 2002, when she at last started replying to my many emails. Since then I have had a regular email correspondence with Tatiana. I have sent to her three or four times an email detailing the restitution I want from her. Obviously she has read the emails, but she has stated very clearly recently that “I'm sorry but I don't have any of your property, I've not cheated or stolen anything from you at all and in edition, xxxx, I don't know where the figuer 7000 comes from”. Therefore she has refused to accept either the fact of her wrongdoing, or the need to make recompense. This girl virtually put me in hospital with a nervous breakdown. As well as sleeping tablets, I was also prescribed anti-depressants for some weeks. Because I did virtually no work for several months, the total sum lost I estimate between $80,000 and $100,000. I nearly lost my mind over this girl, and because of what happened later. Looking back on it now, I can see that I have been very naïve. But I do not blame myself. I loved Tatiana very deeply, even though by the time she disappeared I already hated her as well. I stole nothing, I did not lie to her, I simply loved her. But she turned me inside out and has destroyed my hope in life, my energy and motivation, and my belief and trust in people. As a Russian friend has recently written to me, “What happened to you is really a disaster and it broke your heart and destroyed the complete life". That’s how bad it has been. Some comments by Tatiana at various stages of our one year’s relations which now can be put into their proper perspective. Imagine all these comments being made by a person with a calculating and secretive face, even with a knowing smile – which really was how they were made: · After about 9-10 months’ relations: “You are doing very well”. “What do you mean Tanya?” “We have now been together for about 10 months – that’s a lot longer than normal”. · After about 6 months’ relations: “In 6 months’ time you will do everything that I want”. “No I won’t”. “You will, xxxxx – ALL men do exactly what I want”. · “I am NOT an ordinary Russian girl! I am NOT an ordinary Russian girl!” · After some months: “xxxxxs, what would you do to me if I left you – only joking of course”. · On a separate occasion, when we were in a bar with many of my friends, she said very quietly and in a strange way: “It’s good that you have some friends”. · In Moscow one day, driving in town “That Bulgarian restaurant there is a very good one”. “How do you know Tatiana?”. She made some comment about having gone there before. · Tatiana on the telephone, overheard at her home in SPB: "No, I can't today. He's here". · She laughingly explained that an email address I found belonged to a girlfriend of hers who was “not a nice person, she does business with girls”. · After we had been together some months, Tatiana came for the weekend. I had bought her a large number of red roses and these were in a vase by the side of the bed. She looked at them, said “Thank you – but don’t think about putting the petals on the bed to make love – I’ve already done that”. How romantic. The comment, and this was not the only one of this type, shows her innate roughness. · Again, with some months before she disappeared, Tatiana said, very strangely I thought at the time, that a friend of hers (“Max” – of course, I had never met him) would be able to tell her whenever I flew to St. Petersburg from Moscow . In the last week, there were many notable comments, most of them screamed and shouted at me by Tatiana, who was mad with anger the whole week. She was like a demon, a demented person: brooding, silent, scheming one minute; crazy with anger the next. “You give your daughter and ex-wife more money than you give me!” (in fact, untrue). “You are middle class! I want high class!” “I want a relationship without any limits! There must be no limits!” “I want democratic relations!” “I will NEVER fly on Aeroflot again – it must be a western airline!” “I am a Maskvitchka now! You must give me a minimum of $1,000 a month!” “You are mad and so is your daughter!” Who is the mad one? I would be glad to learn the definition of “democratic relations”. There also occurred an incident in Pushkinskaya Ploshad perehod when, with many other people, we were sheltering from a sudden rainstorm. Tatiana said she wanted to go home, so, thinking only of her, I bought her an umbrella for the 400 metres walk back home. It cost about 250 roubles – just an ordinary umbrella from a kiosk there. She started screaming at me, completely out of control, about how could I possibly buy her such an umbrella, she must have a better one. All the people there heard her and I was very embarrassed. And, worst of all, when I came home from my office one evening, she said, with a strange smile on her face, "Darling, you know what - I am your fallen angel today", a comment that she refused to elaborate upon but which was explained by my discovery some weeks later of part of a condom packet under the divan cushions. Tatiana is intelligent (but more cunning than intelligent), and obviously very experienced. In addition, she herself has written that she is “fucked up”, but, whatever her psychological problems, it is no excuse. She is not insane. However, she is far from being normal, this much is obvious. All amounts below relate solely to the last week spent in Moscow . She has herself confirmed that it was all planned, but as an honest man, I cannot justify to myself seeking all the money back spent on this bitch (probably in the region of $25,000). $2,000 Money given to Tatiana to help her sister Angela. Tatiana told me it would be repaid after 6 months. Angela said she never received it – said it was for Tatiana’s education, which had been planned many weeks before. $500 Money taken from my credit card after Tatiana left. In English law this is theft. $50 UK visa. $738 Total debt on the mobile phone bill. Contract was in my name, all calls made by Tatiana. We had agreed that she would pay for all calls made from the money I gave her every month. $500 Mobile phone. Bought in my name - not Tatiana’s property. $500 Cost of a red dress bought 2-3 days before Tatiana left. $733 One-year membership at Planet Fitness bought just 3-4 days before Tatiana left. $100 Cost of cancelling credit card and receiving new one. $450 Cost of Tatiana’s ticket to Germany . $200 Share of home telephone bill for the final week together. $100 African statue stolen from the apartment. $200 RAYBAN glasses stolen from the apartment. $500 Money given to Tatiana for trip to Germany – she said she would be back in 7 days, never returned. $150 Luggage never returned. $150 Cost of replacing locks on door at home. $1150 Computer – it was agreed that it would be our home computer. TOTAL USD 8,021 I have many reasons to hate Tatiana Reus. I do not - I continue to miss her. My friends think that I must be crazy for this, and perhaps I really am – but that’s simply the way it is. Whilst that is my misfortune, clearly I have asked myself many hard questions about why this should be, and why I allowed this to happen. Why, for instance, did I suffer this girl’s behaviour for so long? Firstly, I had lived alone for four years after a horrible divorce that I did not want. I had been very lonely and quite isolated socially. At the time I met Tanya, I was playing a lot of sport again, my mood was good, I had recovered much of my old confidence, some serious disputes with my Portuguese ex-wife over international access to our daughter Hanna Monica were resolved in a good way, I was ready for love again, and Tatiana captivated me. There was a freshness, a vulnerability, a quick intelligence and a gentleness too within her (I thought) that made me love her very deeply. For me, it was a genuine and real love. She must have acted her part very well, because of course, her expressed feelings of love for me cannot have been real because at the same time she was telling me she loved me, everything was happening as I have described. I have often wondered why she then did not stay with me for longer, in order to extract even more money. I think there may be a variety of answers. Firstly, fairly obviously, she was already having relations with another man or men by the time she disappeared. She had seen that the XXXXXX bank account was both neither as big as she had thought, nor was it willing to pay the ever-increasing demands that she made without receiving even basic love and affection in return. I remember another comment – “My mother told me that you said you were rich!” – said in an angry, accusing way, as if I was guilty for not being richer. I said that I had never said such a thing, but I planned that in time, my small financial business would make good progress (in fact, at the time of writing, June 2002, we are actively seeking in the market place a $500,000 equity investment which would transform the business. So if Tatiana had been patient, she would have had everything that she wanted). It may be simply that she was working as an individual, out to get as much money from me as possible for the least possible investment in false love and false affection, saw that I was waking up to reality – and ran, taking what she could on the way out. It may be that I was simply the means of paying for her final year’s studies (if she was studying), and once she had finished this, it was time for her to move on. Perhaps she was having long-term relations with a boyfriend in St. Petersburg , and he had told her that despite the money she was earning, she should stop. Perhaps she works with mafia people, and this is her profession. Perhaps she is a drug user, or perhaps the entire family was screwing me. There are clearly many possibilities. The real one will be found out. Certainly, her father’s lack of even basic respect to me was appalling. I only wanted to be part of his family and be treated in a normal way. Instead I received lies and rudeness from him, and as I have written above, I think that he was part of, or even the originator of, the car incident. Clearly there were some things happening within this family that i knew nothing about. Tatiana’s mother had effectively left her husband and was working in a small town near Dusseldorf in Germany . She told me that she hated St. Petersburg and no longer wished to live there. I did not understand the dynamics of Tatiana’s family, nor my place within it. This was a mistake. Tatiana too told me that after her trips abroad she understood that she could not live in Russia and that she must get out as soon as possible. What is definitely true is that Tatiana’s own explanation of why she did this (she was “angry” because she realised she had “wasted a whole year” with me; there were “scandals” – she means arguments) is complete nonsense. There were moments of temper from me, moments of frustration and stress - not so many and not serious – that arose out of my growing knowledge that I was being robbed by a bitch, and because she never showed me any real love at all. But actually I did everything almost exactly right. She had no reason whatsoever that might possibly justify what she has done to me. Tatiana is an expert at making other people feel guilty for her own appalling behaviour. It took me months to understand properly that I could not have been guilty. But, whatever the reason, the reality is that this girl deliberately sought to screw me. And she succeeded, both financially and, far more importantly, morally and emotionally. I was almost destroyed emotionally, and as far as my physical health is concerned, she nearly put me in hospital. She also made me feel that I was guilty for her actions and her disappearance and her lack of love (love…! I think she kissed me only 2-3 times in the year; she never thought of me and my needs, only her own; and I remember the one time she touched me on my shoulder simply because there was only one occasion when she did it). Secondly, I have always been a very patient man who was brought up to believe that women, being the “fairer sex”, should be put on a pedestal and should be treated with kindness and gentleness. The attitude of an “English gentleman”! It seems that in Russia , where life is bestial for so many people, and has been for centuries, this attitude is a recipe for disaster – some Russian girls (not the truly intelligent ones) see such an attitude towards them as simply a weakness to be exploited. Certainly Tatiana had a very deep sense of inferiority and a deep sense of anger that other girls had achieved their black Jeep or black Mercedes dream, while she had not. She is obsessed by status. She is obviously prepared to do whatever is necessary to get what she wants. Even to lie, cheat, betray and steal. What she did is a true scandal - not leaving me, that is a person’s right - but for causing me, with deliberate intention and cruelty, such serious emotional illness and financial loss, even to the extent of defrauding and robbing the man she said she loved, a man she knew loved her, a man who had done whatever he could for her. |
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